Posted by: Natasha A. Morea | 07/30/2011

Taris part 19

I spent the night restlessly, my mind refusing to give me any peace. I kept going over how this base infiltration was going to go down, and I was not liking the odds. Aiden woke me just before dawn, or what would be dawn if we could get a glimpse of sunshine down here. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stretched, yawning loudly.
“Time to get up already?”
“Not quite, cyar’ika, but there is something you and I can do before the time arrives.”
I wrinkled my brow and looked at him curiously. “And what might that be?”
“Come, sit with me.”
Aiden walked over to a cleared off spot on the floor. He sat down and crossed his legs and waited for me to join him. I moved to sit in front of him.
“Close your eyes, just as I showed you before and clear your mind. I want you to attempt to recall the path we took to the base. It is going to take us both remembering this.”
“Do you remember, Aiden?”
“Yes, but what if we get separated or one of us is injured? Or worse? It is important to have more than one recollection of the way in and out. Trust me, you can do this.”
I remained doubtful, but closed my eyes and attempted to remember the way. I had silently taken the trip listening to the sounds of the city and measuring the turns taken. I cleared my mind and breathed deeply, hoping that all of the things I had heard ,smelled and calculated would just pop out. I squeezed my eyes shut harder, somehow hoping that would help, but my mind remained blank. I sighed and opened my eyes.
“Na’sha, give it a moment. You know the information is in there, you listened and used your mind to remember the path, now we need to make sure your calculations and mine are the same. You are too impatient, relax and try again. It will all come back to you in full clarity if you just let it.”
“That is easy for you to say, Aiden. You are a Jedi, you are trained to do this kind of stuff, my mind just does not work the same as yours. You have the Force to guide you. It is not as easy for us none force users, you know.”
Aiden leaned close to me and brushed his hand against my cheek.
“You do not give yourself enough credit, my sweet. I have seen the way your mind works and I have seen you do some amazing things in the time we have known one another. I know what you are and are not capable of. Believe me when I say that you can do this. If you do not challenge yourself, then who will? Give it one more try, for me… for the sake of the mission, just once more.”
I really could not argue with such a eloquently put statement, so I reluctantly closed my eyes and tried once again to regain clarity.
After sitting in silence, for what seemed like an eternity, I began to block out all of my surroundings. I relaxed and fully opened my mind. A flood of memories assaulted me, swirled around inside my head. I struggled with them for a moment and then relaxed further, willing the right ones to come to me. Slowly, the memories seemed to fade away, leaving me with the ones that I sought. I sat there, on the floor reliving every sound, every smell; feeling every twist and turn of the path.
Once the path was made clear to me and I was certain that it would remain so, I slowly began to come back to the present world. My mind was clear and my body felt lighter, somehow fresher. I could sense the things around me, as if I were a part of them. I could hear Aiden’s heartbeat and feel his breath stir the air around me. There was no silence, for everything seemed to beckon; seemed alive!
I could feel my own heart pound and feel the slight fear of this new feeling, this connection to so much. I quickly severed it with the opening of my eyes. Aiden was looking at me intently.
“Na’sha, you looked confused. Did you remember?”
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew that I had remembered and I had a feeling he knew how I had felt. I decided to play dumb.
“Yes. I did. I think I can get us back there. Perhaps we should compare notes now.” I started to stand as I spoke.
“And what else?”
I looked at him with fake confusion. “ I don’t know what you mean.”
Aiden sighed. “What else did you see, feel, hear? Surely there was more there than mere memories.”
I walked over to my kit, sat on the edge of the makeshift bed and began checking my weapons. I felt Aiden as he walked over and sat behind me on the opposite side.
“Na’sha?”
“Yes?”
“What else?”
“Nothing. Really. Just feelings. I guess I was just so relaxed that I could focus better on things. It just surprised me how much different things are when your mind is more clear.”
Aiden stood and walked toward the door. “We can compare notes when I return. I am going out to get us all some breakfast before the others awaken.”
Aiden stood in the doorway, looking at me. “And Na’sha, I know you experienced more than you are willing to tell me. Think on it, search your feelings. You have been fighting a part of you that needs to be free. This mission comes first, but afterward, I will be here to help you, if you will let me.”
I looked down at my kit. “I love you Aiden, but stop trying to be my Master.”
“Maybe I should be.”
I turned back to see the door close slowly behind him.
What the kark did he mean by that?

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